I'm Already There
by Vivere Sine Timore
Summary: Shawn calls his family as they countdown the days until he returns from being stationed in Iraq. Based on I'm Already There by Lonestar


**Alright, so this is just the product of my overactive imagination and "I'm Already There" by Lonestar. I swear to God, I've like become bosessed with that song.**

**It'll probs be mostly dialogue, but I hope you like it nonetheless.**

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><p>Corporal Shawn H. Spencer punched a number into the phone in his hand. He knew the number by heart and could recite it in his sleep. He drummed his fingers anxiously as the phone rance once, twice, three times.<p>

"Hello?"

His heart jumped to his throat as he heard the voice on the other line. It was a voice he had only heard a couple of times in the past year, one that could break his heart. He heard little peals of laughter in the background, and he had to close his eyes against the tears welling up in them. He licked his lips and cleared his throat as he tried to compose himself.

"Daddy?" He smiled slightly at the tone of recognition in the voice.

"Hey buddy," he managed to choke out. An excited cry of joy surprised him and delighted him at the same time.

"Mommy! Daddy's on the phone! Daddy are you still there?"

"I'm still here," he whispered. "I'm right here."

"Daddy, when are you going to come home?" Shawn's words caught in his throat as he tried to answer. He wasn't sure what to tell his son; things were so complicated, and he didn't want to get his hopes up just to disappoint him. He couldn't do that to him.

"What do you mean?" he asked lightly.

"I miss you, daddy. Do you miss me? I want you to come home right now."

"Of course I miss you, Gus," he assured the boy. "But do you know something? I'm already right next to you."

"You are? I don't see you..."

"You don't?"

"No. Daddy, where are you?"

"I'm everywhere, Gus," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm the sunshine outside. I'm that pesky shadow that always follows you everywhere."

"Really?"

"Mhmm. I'm also the wind in you hair. And you know that imaginary friend of yours? That's me, too. I'm all around you, Gus. You just have to know where to look for me."

"You promise?"

"I promise." There was a moment of silence before Shawn spoke again. "I love you, kid. Never forget that."

"I love you too, Daddy. Mommy wants to talk to you now. I'll see you later, Daddy!" Shawn heard the phone being handed to someone else.

"Shawn?" His heart broke a little more at the hint of disbelief in Juliet's voice. "Oh my God, Shawn is that really you?"

"It's me, Jules. I'm right here." He heard an outraged squawk in the background and smiled.

"Gus, what did I tell you about bouncing a ball against your sister's head?" Jules reprimanded firmly. Shawn grinned as he pictured Gus throwing a foam ball at Maddie's head, trying to see how far it would bounce off.

"Sorry," he heard Gus say distantly.

"Why don't you and Maddie go play outside for a little while?" Shawn heard the back door open and close, and then footsteps walking back towards the phone.

"I'm sorry about that, Shawn," Jules said as she turned her attention back to her husband. "You know how kids can be. Especially our kids. I blame you for that one." They chuckled lightly for a moment, and then a serious silence settled over them.

"I miss you," Shawn confessed. "I miss you guys so much it hurts."

"We miss you too," Jules said, switching the phone to her other ear. "Maddie keeps asking where Dada is. Why did you join the army again?" Shawn looked down at his lap and pursed his lips. He wasn't even sure anymore, if he was being honest. He knew he was doing the right thin in serving his country, but he missed being able to take his kids out for ice cream after a long day. Even more than that, he missed having Jules by his side.

"Our bed feels too big," Juliet continued, sensing his hesitation. "I wake up in the morning and I turn over to tell you something, and then I realize that you're not there. I miss you, Shawn."

"I miss you too, Jules. I promise I'll come home as soon as I can."

"Preferably in one piece." Shawn laughed once at that.

"And preferably not in a coffin." He heard Juliet inhale sharply at his comment, and immediately wanted to take back his words.

"Shawn why would you even think that?" She demanded, and he could hear the tears behind it. "I never, ever want to think of what would happen to us if you died."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "It's just so normal for me to think of that, now. Every single day I wake up knowing that it could be the last time I do."

"Shawn, please, _please _can we not talk about this? The kids have a whole countdown of the days until you get home."

"I know."

"Gus always complains that five weeks is too long, and I have to agree with him. I want you back, Shawn."

"I know," he soothed. "I know. I want to be back. But you know what? I'm already there."

"No, you're not. I wish you were, but you're not."

"What do you mean?" Shawn asked. "Of course I am. Don't make a sound." There was silence on both ends of the line as Juliet strained her ears.

"Shawn, I don't get it," she complained. "What am I listening for?"

"Don't you hear that? I can hear it."

"Hear what?"

"Your heartbeat. That's me." Jules sighed and hung her head.

"Shawn, I wish so badly that I could believe that," she said. "I wish that I could believe that you were my heartbeat or the moonlight shining into our bedroom at night, or Gus's imaginary friend. But I know better. None of these thigns can replace the actual you. They're just symbols. They're not really you."

"I know, but I'm doing my best." Jules sighed again.

"I should go, Shawn. Gus and Maddie need to be put down for a nap soon, before they get too overtired." Shawn nodded and then remembered that she couldn't see him.

"Of course. I'll see you soon," he said. "I love you. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I love you too Shawn." Her finger moved toward the 'End' button.

"Jules! Wait!"

"What is it, Shawn?"

"There's just one more thing before I you go."

"What?"

Jules spun toward the door as someone on the outside knocked. She slowly made her way to the door and yanked it open. The phone slipped from her hand and landed with a thud on the hardwood floor. Her mouth fell open and she gaped at the man in front of her for a second before launching herself into his open arms.

"I told you. I'm already there."


End file.
